margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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