the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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