is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
