Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize