we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
