I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
