I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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