Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
