At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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