is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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