so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
