so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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