dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
