We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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