he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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