i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
