I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
