i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
