What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
