cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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