Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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