Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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