I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
