its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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