last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Your cock deserves a montage
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
