i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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