Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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