She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize