When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
