God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
