What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
