Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
