i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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