Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
