Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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