i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
