Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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