idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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