Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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