U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
