Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
