I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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