I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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