I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
