Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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