my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
