So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
