well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
