They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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