Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
