I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
