Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
