wanna go halves on a baby?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
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