my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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