2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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