do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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