Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
