She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
