So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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