My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
