I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
