god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
