i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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