Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
