He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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