i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
