He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
