spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
