I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
