hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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