I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize